After a year or so of being jerked around by douchey frat guys and lames, I’m finally dating someone. For real. And I’m so very very happy.
As it is the beginning of October, the season of change has begun. And it is a beautiful season marked by the falling of leaves, the abundance of orange & yellow, and the crisp scent of crunchy leaves. The changes prominent in my life revolve around love, career, and family.
First, my love life is so ever-changing this fall. At the beginning of September I’d thought, I’ve finally found the guy. The guy I want to spend the season with, get to know, and let into my heart. And it started so beautifully: a night of wine, dinner, hulu, romance, clubbing, and then more romance with a walk home in the morning. He was just so perfect in the beginning. And then a few days later we had the best afternoon together…and then it all went to hell. Just such a sudden change, I’m still reeling. How can something so sweet turn into something so sour in such a short amount of time? But I guess that’s just how life works, right? I just wish he respected me as much as I tried to respect and honor whatever we were. But, again, that’s just how it works: you win some, you lose some. And now as October begins, I’ve been contacted by an old flame (ah, end of freshman year). I actually was just thinking about him yesterday morning before he Facebook messaged me and the good times we had without too much drama…perfect Freshman year non-romantic fling. So as October begins, so does something that’s hopefully long-lasting.
Next, are the changes in my career. These past few months have revolved around the start-up Poshly.com, a beauty data mining firm that is a place that has truly captured my heart. However, there have been some recent changes that have me questioning whether or not I still have a place there, and that is so stressful as a young professional. You work so, so hard to prove to them that you’re worth it…yet you just end up being expendable. And it hurts my heart. So I’ve recently pursued a position with Target (yes, the red bulls-eye) and I’m super excited. I’m OBSESSED with Target: their fashion collaborations, their branding, their BEAUTY section, the grocery section (FOOOOOD), and just so many other reasons. So, that’s the silver lining in this situation.
Finally, there’s the changes in my family life. I’ve been around my parents for so long that now I don’t know what to do without them. I depend on them for so much. Brief statement of change, but the truth.
So many changes, so many opportunities to explore new things, so many new budding friendships. What to do?
just so beautiful.
Well, since it’s a season of change, it’s time to post my annual list of fall to-dos.
- Go apple picking in the Cornell Orchards
- Make homemade apple butter and give as gifts for October birthdays
- Take pictures of the leaves changing on a long road (corny, but needs to be done)
- Make apple cider donuts
- Watch a marathon of scary movies with my not-determined-yet cuddle buddy
- Buy socks for my L.L Bean boots
- Drink old-fashioned apple cider from Cornell Orchards
- Create a Miley Cyrus VMA halloween costume (just, YIKES)
- Buy ten winter sweaters. Yay! Fall fashion
- Invest in at least two pairs of winter booties
and so i wonder if we could learn to be grateful for the changing of other seasons in our life. the ending of a relationship, the farewell to the familiar, the beginning of a new job. seasons of career decisions, changed hearts, and transformed points of view. i wonder what it would be like if we could embrace those difficult days in the same way we appreciate the crisp air and vibrant oranges, burnt reds, and perfect yellows. i think life provides us with constant change in the same way that the earth provides us with seasons; we may want to hold on just a little bit longer, but there is always beauty in letting go. look for it. find it.
celebrate the shift from certainty to the unknown in the same way we look forward to wearing those boots and scarves; move as seamlessly from an old expectation to a new beginning as we do from cold lemonade to hot tea and pumpkin flavored coffee. from fresh cut grass to stepping on those crunchy leaves. change might be hard and uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to be labeled as bad. change is what you make of it, what you learn from it, and what you do with it. and that can always be a good thing if you let it be.
And so it is autumn again. A season full of change, transformation, and endings. As the leaves change, there is a sudden sense of calm that surrounds those appreciate the change, who know that there is something new coming up ahead.
I have experienced so many changes this year already with new internship offers, new job offers, changing of friends every other day. Am I ready for all the unknown being presented to me? Am I ready to finally grow up and realize that there is more to college than Starbucks, prelims, and late night study sessions in my campus 24-hour eateries?
I feel as if there is no amount of appropriate preparation that can prepare me for the adventure ahead. The reality of adulthood, the reality that there is no safety net of college ahead, the reality that real-life is starting. Just so much real, so much reality. Even as a junior, so much reality.
Will I have time to stalk Polyvore for fashion finds and then collage them into dream outfits every day/night? Will I have time to walk those forty-five minutes to campus every day (like I do every weekend) to see my friends? Will I have time to create gourmet meals out of ramen every night? What will I have time for? What is reality, really?
I hope that this season full of change presents new opportunities for love, friendship, jobs, and my creative pursuits. I hope that I can discover new paths to take in order to make this transition easier and less bumpy. Maybe, just maybe, all the change ahead can give me a path worth traveling by.